How I Do Therapy
When you decide to go for therapy, you have embarked on a life-changing event.
You have also initiated a crisis. You may remember President Kennedy's reference to the Mandarin meaning of the word "crisis." i.e. "Opportunity on a dangerous wind." Crisis theory informs us that we generally have up to six weeks from the time a crisis or change begins before we become solidified to the new experience. As a result, I have a limited amount of time to help get you or your loved ones moving along your new path.One of the things I do differently from most of my colleagues is that I generally ask you, or whoever my identified client is, to bring to one or more sessions family, friends, co-workers, fellow students, etc. I have a fiduciary responsibility to my clients to make sure you get the best value for the treatment dollar. Most of us know a lot more about our friends and loved ones than we ever tell them, because they never asked us, and we don't want to offend. So, we'll share our worries and concerns after the unfortunate events occur in the lives of our friends and loved ones.
I trust you to know whom to bring to the interviews.
I rely on your trust of your friends, family members and co-workers to treat our discussions confidentially. Before you do this, we discuss that I will not reveal anything with them that we have previously addressed, unless I have your permission. I follow your lead. I generally ask your guests how they met you, what were their first impressions were of you; I generally ask them for any concerns they may have. If you have brought at least two guests who may or may not know each other, the conversation usually begins cautiously because this is a new experience for all of you. My job is to "mine" for information about you. I am not looking for an epiphany. I'm just looking impressions, insights, and observations your guests may have formed while knowing you.Interestingly enough, teen males and females are great about this. Adolescent males most often bring a gaggle of friends who really "out" them and express their concerns in a mixture of deep affection covered over by nervous and fast-moving humor.
By meeting with the people who you have identified as knowing you, I am able to intellectually graph my impression of your issues, along with your impressions, as well as your guest's perceptions. In fifteen years, I have only had one set of clients not do this, and I do not think they received as sparkling an outcome as many of my other clients.
Couples Counseling
With couples, I respect the views of both partners, helping both of you to develop a common relationship vision and patterns that support it. I can generally help couples get back to what was good in the partnership. However, it is helpful to keep in mind that as you work in therapy, you may find you do not want to go back to "the way it was." In this scenario, everything is up for grabs. At the same time, it is important to keep in mind that it is harder to have a good divorce or separation (when children are involved) than it is to have a mediocre partnership.
        
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Jim Mahoney Spokane, WA 99202 509.838.2256 |
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All original graphics and text are copyrighted © 2004 by Jim Mahoney.
Last Updated August, 2004